The 28th September 2021 was the day that changed my life forever.
I have been blessed with a life changing epiphany.
Today is my third spiritual awakening. My first was waking up to the fact I was living on auto-pilot in 2018, the second was giving birth naturally to my son eight months later, and the third was today — the day I realised my true essence, of who I truly am. Awareness.
From today onwards, I will be sharing with you my journey and insights of how this realisation plays out. I know that many of us around the globe are waking up. I personally have found comfort in reading many peoples blogs on the topic. So my hope is that you may seek comfort in reading this as you continue on your spiritual path too.
I am certain I will come up against many challenges and obstacles on the path towards enlightenment and I welcome them with open arms.
Why do I welcome them???
As I know that all miraculous things come after the endurance and perseverance of challenges. I know that this road to enlightenment wont be easy as I still have a fair few limiting beliefs and trauma stored within my body and mind, however I am excited to share this journey with you.
With that said, lets start at the beginning...
Today whilst I was walking my two gorgeous Dalmatians (Penny and Rickie) and listening to The Greatest Secret by Rhonda Byrne, I experienced a profound awakening.
I recognised the truth of who I am... as Rhonda explains — Awareness.
It was a lightbulb moment. I instantly remembered. It brought up an instant inner acknowledgment within me, like I have known this before.
It all made complete sense. It honestly felt like everything I have read and learnt about in the last three years has finally been complete by this missing link of knowledge. Each piece of information and experience so far has been the trail of breadcrumbs leading towards this universal truth, in divine timing. Without the sequence of this accumulated knowledge, I may have completely overlooked the power of this secret.
As soon as the feeling of knowing and familiarity encased me, I began to weep at the sheer expansiveness of the sky. Taking in the awe and magnificence of the crisp white clouds against the pale blue sky. It was like my eyes had been opened for the first time. Next I noticed a flower, again tears rolled down my cheeks as I witnessed its pure perfection. I felt myself feeling a wondrous sense of joy, gratitude and appreciation all at once.
Then suddenly, I felt my heart race and fear rise up into my throat. I closed my eyes and allowed the fear to be there. There was no way I was letting the sensation of fear take this miracle away from me. As the feeling in my throat dissolved away and my heart began to return to normal, tears began to form.
I continued along my walk, with a steady flow of tears streaming down my cheeks. I welcomed, acknowledged and celebrated the realisation that Awareness is who I am. Not a person. Not a body. Not a mind. Just infinite Awareness. Suddenly my tears began to induce laughter. A laughter that I couldn't control, it almost felt forced out of me as there was no reasoning for it.
I felt energetic and free for the first time in a few months. Freedom from what I once believed, to knowing again what I once knew. I am Awareness, noticing the human experience, the world and everything in it, and recognising that it is but I — Awareness.
About nine months ago I started to dive deep into shadow work to uncover my deep-rooted limiting beliefs and address the trauma I had experienced in my life so far. Whilst this was an incredibly insightful journey into discovering my patterns, it was also very exhausting and tiring. It began to take its toll on me and the last couple of months I have felt like I spiralled down into a state suffering. My mind knew that I was causing it, but I couldn't somehow break-free from its grips. I believed that maybe I was depressed or that I needed 'fixing'. My moods and energy were low, my body experienced pain, I was using food as a form of comfort and even thought about taking up smoking again.
Whilst I knew and understood the concept of 'happiness comes from within' and 'you are not your thoughts', my mind had enticed me to stay dormant in its suffering. Everything began to annoy me, frustrate me, irritate me, anger me, overwhelm me, sadden me and disappoint me. My creative side has dried up like a lake in a drought. My intuition knew I needed to rest, so last week I listened to her and took a break for once to do absolutely nothing. I sat by the Broadwater soaking up the warm sunshine, admiring the rich blue colour of the water, sitting in complete silence without distractions. I stared into space for hours and it felt liberating. Only to wake the next day back in the depts of suffering. Some know this as the "dark night of the soul" (I will write a blog on this soon) which can be compared closely to a conventional depression. It's a sense of meaningless and emptiness and that was how I truly felt.
It's like the universe had been hinting to me all along. Psst... Dannie, this is the answer. Awareness. Showing me this experience a number of times throughout my life hoping I would see it. It was so simple. The truth the universe was presenting me was right before my eyes however, easily overlooked.
When I felt this awakening today, I immediately saw all these moments of Awareness flash before my eyes. The day by the Broadwater, the day I spent on the beach watching the waves roll in after an intense break-up, performing and dancing on stage, the hours before giving birth to my son Jayde and even the months following Jayde's birth. These were all moments I was completely and utterly present — deep in Awareness. All these moments brought a peace within that I knew was powerful and felt joyful but at the time I didn't fully recognise the lesson I was being presented with. The lesson of coming back to ones true nature — Awareness.
I now know every where I look is I. Oneness is I. The quest for life is to find our way back to I. Awareness is I and I am Awareness. The world as I see it is only my projection. If I desire to see love in the world, I must be the love within and be aware of love. Today is the first day of my quest back to unconditional love; dissolving my negative thoughts, feelings and sensations stored in my body; exposing the negative beliefs related to these and my reactions so that I can journey back to the eternal and inherent nature of pure love.
Awareness has always been there hinting to me or appearing as inspiration for me. Every time I think about creating a course for my business, awareness has always been the first topic I wish to discuss with everyone. It has been there guiding me all along, though now, I have a far greater knowledge, understanding and perspective on it. I feel so completely transformed from this revelation and look forward to returning home within.
Come along on the journey with me, to discovering my steps towards enlightenment. I hope that you can and will find inspiration and encouragement along the way.
Much love, Dannie xo
Ps. Come follow me over on instagram, I'd love to connect with you and build a community of people who are on the same path.
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