“My Story”

Hi Beautiful,

I’m so happy and touched that you are interested in hearing a bit more about my story and my life…

My purpose is to share my story, knowledge and wisdom to help inspire you to develop a life that you love. We only get one chance at life and I want yours to be the one you’ve always dreamed of! I believe life is for living, not just existing!

I am mumma to my beautiful little boy Jayde and a wife to my wonderful husband Dean. I am a quote junkie, a spiritual butterfly, obsessed with learning, lover of pilates and yoga, TM meditation, sleep and deep and meaningful conversations. Nothing makes me happier than spending a day in the sun, connecting with friends and family sharing laughter, banter and vulnerable conversations. I also have a flair for creativity and love to dance. I danced from the age of 3 right through to 21. It was my ultimate passion. When I was performing on stage, I was in my element. It was like the whole world slowed down and I was in pure bliss for those three minutes. Performing in front of an audience gave me a confidence I never quite mastered in real life, until I hit 30. It was the only place that my appearance didn’t matter, my technique and skills mattered. I had confidence in that.

As a teenager and well into my late 20’s, I had serious self-confidence issues about my appearance and my body shape. I constantly compare myself to all of my friends. I always felt I wasn’t good enough. I always felt I was in the background. I had to try 10 times harder to look good, when they would roll out of bed looking immaculate. I used to shy away from who I truly wanted to be in fear that I wouldn't be accepted and I so deeply longed to belong. When I developed acne at 19, I used to cover it with lots of makeup. Oh, and how's this… I used to select my desk at work each day based on which side of my face had less pimples. I would sit with the side that had more pimples to the wall, so my customers couldn’t see how bad they were.

So, I became a people pleaser, as I thought it was the only way people would like me. I spent my life walking on eggshells. Those who knew me during this time, would probably say that I was confident and outgoing. What they didn’t know, is that I was suppressing very difficult emotions and unmet needs. I was in denial. I was falsifying my positivity, confidence, self-esteem and happiness. I came up with this “story” in my head that would play on repeat… Who would ever love me? I am not pretty enough. I don’t have a perfect bikini body. There’s always going to be a more attractive girl than me to come along, so this man will leave me anyway. I don’t deserve love, attention or affection. My inner critic, let’s call her Cruella, was so loud and boisterous that she had me convinced. I was under her spell. Cruella had complete control of my thoughts, emotions and my life. I was constantly stressed, exhausted and miserable in life. 

I stumbled through life on auto-pilot, mindlessly existing with Cruella as my self-sabotaging sidekick. I chose relationships that were a push-pull dynamic. They were toxic but also strangely exciting. They fed the part of me that felt like I still had something to prove. Prove that I was loveable and worthy. It was draining and soul-sucking but a pattern I continued repeating. Each time I was abandoning myself. Disregarding my own feelings and emotions. I was so eager to please and be the perfect girlfriend that I completely ignored my own needs. My needs were never met, hence why the relationships never worked out. I honestly believe that the people you attract into your world, is a timely and a direct reflection of your internal world.

I never thought to stop and experience the discomfort of my emotions, instead I would suppress or run away from them to avoid dealing with the pain. I never thought I was capable or had the courage to study and become an entrepreneur. Instead I stayed in a job because it was safe and easy.  I never thought I was worthy to ask for help and express my needs, instead I used to internalise them and created self-sabotaging habits. I wasn’t truly and mindfully living, I was just senselessly existing with Cruella holding the reins. I was living in fear and not choosing love.

My initiation into motherhood changed my whole life trajectory. Pregnancy brought with it so much anxiety for me. I was seriously doubting my ability, worthiness, capability and if I would be ‘enough’ for my child. This experience forced me to deal with my inner struggles, the ones I had been running from for over 15 years. I heard somewhere, ‘Where attention goes, energy flows.’ This made perfect sense to me. My attention was always on my insecurities and the negative. What if I shifted focus to my strengths and my positive characteristics? I decided that the only way I could overcome this crippling overwhelm was to get educated and do some deep soul searching. I read various books, attended hypnobirthing classes, listened to many podcasts and even attended a mindfulness course. I was shocked and speechless. The energy was finally flowing, pumping actually, and it was addictive. It felt so exhilarating. This new way of thinking, this new mindset, completely changed my life.

To my surprise, I have ventured down a path I only once dreamed of. I found peace in knowledge and others' experience and vulnerability. I went from living from a place of comfort to stepping out and feeling the discomfort. From being fearful to being brave. From being impatient to compassionate and patient. I learnt to trust myself and my intuition; that vulnerability is your best asset to building quality human connection and having authentic confidence in who you truly are unlocks your infinite power to own your destiny. I also learnt that happiness isn’t found in possessions or people; it comes from within you. 

Then Jayde was born. Whilst riding a roller coaster of emotions, racing hormones, challenging twists and turns, sleep deprivation and learning to depend on others whilst a little child depends on you, I stared life in the face. I thought to myself ‘Wow, motherhood is so confronting and overwhelming’. I ended up diagnosed with Postnatal Anxiety and Depression when Jayde was 5 months old and I felt defeated. At first, I felt embarrassed to tell anyone in fear I would be declaring that I was failing as a mother. On the other hand, I knew deep down I was honestly giving my all and I was confident I was always doing the very best for my son. I got uncomfortable, vulnerable and told my friends and family about the PND. I was amazed and overwhelmed by the response I got. We were having hard conversations and connecting on deeper levels. I felt so light, like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. But, was I doing my very best for myself too? No. I had been neglecting myself and my needs again. I had forgotten that “you cannot serve from an empty vessel” as stated by Eleanor Brown.

I decided to surrender to it all, to trust my inner knowing and believe that I will know what to do. I trusted that my mind and body will seek equilibrium. However, even though there were very dark corners, it brought to light my inner wisdom and strength that was buried deep down inside me. In order to surrender and become a mother, I needed to ‘matter’ first to myself and then, I needed to ignite that burning desire deep inside me to rebirth the woman I am truly meant to be. During this process I willingly stripped back the armour that I had been piling on around me for many years. It left me feeling naked, raw and exposed. The gift I found in this journey was that I can let go of the old layers that no longer served me and rebuild myself to live in alignment with the life I was meant to live. 

I knew I didn’t want to mother the way the generations before me had. I decided to shift the generational pattern and mother myself, cultivate awareness and commit to a daily practice to trust, love, forgive, nourish, nurture, teach and beautify my life. I knew once I consciously lived and breathed this new way of mothering, I would organically mother Jayde the same, whilst building a strong foundation for him and his life ahead. I finally unearthed my authentic identity and it feels FANTASTIC.

As a result of my life journey and newfound ability to trust myself, my inner knowing led me to life coaching and immediately I was hooked. I finally found something that resonated with me. Something that sparked the fire in my heart and the passion in my soul. I found my purpose. My Dharma. A way to give back to all those women in the world who are fighting a similar battle. 

I believe we should never be kept afraid about our potential, who we truly are and what we want out of this life. My inner healing has brought with it so much clarity for me, I can help you achieve this too. It is my passion and purpose to help you see the guiding light that will drive you towards your most beautiful life. I desire so deeply to serve and empower women, bring awareness to their situation and be the catalyst for transformation into their own beautiful, nourishing, nurtured way of life. It is my honour to support you and watch you grow, thrive and flourish as your powerful, vulnerable, authentic self. 

I want you to love yourself, be happy within yourself and most importantly be at peace with yourself. As the magic begins with YOU!